Sometimes, it Sucks to
by popsiclecream795
Summary: Some short stories. There is a lot of diversity in Smash Mansion. With that being said, some interesting things can happen every now and then.
1. Deal with Language Barriers

**Author's Note: Wow! I am not dead!**

 **I wanted to try making more dialogue-based stories, so here. To celebrate the announcement of Smash Ultimate, I'm giving you two chapters for the price of one!**

 **I don't own any of the characters, but I wish I did.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Deal with Language Barriers._

"Hey, I've been thinking about things recently. If all the smashers are from different universes, shouldn't we be glad that all of us coincidentally speak the same language?"

"Ness, you're one of the original twelve. Don't you remember that spell Master Hand cast on us? You know, the one that allows us to understand each other?" said Lucas. Right now, they were sitting at one table together in the dining hall eating lunch.

"...Oh."

"Wait a second... you can read everyone's thoughts, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Now that I think about it, I'm picking up a lot of what almost sounds like gibberish to me."

Ness continued listening to the current thoughts of the other smashers. He swore that from somewhere in the mansion, he could hear Marth...in broken English? Since when did he learn that? It's not like anyone would need to anyway, but he decided not to question it. Then, he heard a thought from Lucas.

 _"He must have horrible memory and logic if he forgot how this world works... I guess that explains why Ness still occasionally eats out of trash cans."_

He then telepathically replied, "You know, even with all that background noise, I still heard that."

 **Author's Note: What do you think?**


	2. Experience Culture Shock

**Author's Note: Here's your second chapter.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Experience Culture Shock._

Today, some cuccos escaped from the item storage. Apparently, it was because someone left the door open. They were now wandering around the mansion, and one just so happened to make it's way into Ike's room.

"Oh look, a chicken! And at the right time, too! I was getting hungry..."

Suddenly, Link barged through the door.

"IKE STOP DON'T TOUCH IT!"

"W-Why not?"

"That's not a regular chicken, it's a cucco. If you hurt it, I... I don't want to explain anymore. Just, please trust me!"

"I'm sure it can't do much outside of matches. Who cares?"

"I do! As a friend, I have the rights to tell you to stop this insta-"

It was too late. He had already grabbed his sword, and hit the cucco. It all seemed to happen in slow motion.

"Woah, where did they come from?"

"Ike... No... What have you done?"

The next day...

"Attention, smashers! This is a special announcement! As you may have noticed, some cuccos have escaped yesterday. I figured you all know not to touch them, but it appears that I was wrong. The person or persons who were responsible for this shall immediately head to my office! If you don't... I'm letting Crazy Hand host all of tomorrow's matches. Thank you."

 **Author's Note: I'm leaving it all up to you to guess who left that door open.**


	3. Be Incapable of Flying

**Author's Note: I know how this feels, seeing as I've tried both roles, the leader, and the team members.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Be Incapable of Flying._

"Ready, guys? We have to make this performance be the greatest show that everyone's ever seen! Remember, we only have until tonight, so please keep practicing!" Said Pit. Despite his inability to fly on his own, there was a huge festival downtown that the smashers would be performing at.

"Huh. Can we... at least take a break?"

"Well then, sure!"

All the flying smashers descended to the ground, some landing gently, and others, a bit of a show-off.

That night...

"Alright everyone! This will be our final run through of our performance! Treat it like the real thing!"

"You've been saying that every time we practice... Please, tell us this is the last, last one?"

"Yes, I promise this time!"

When they all landed, nobody had any energy left to fly. The team was exhausted, and some could barely even lift their feet off the ground. Pit would have gotten replacements for them all, but sadly, there were no smashers with flying capabilities left.

"I wish I could have done things a little differently..."


	4. Not Breathe the Same Air

**Author's Note: As I was writing this one, I somehow fell asleep and forgot about what half of this chapter's plot was, so I had to change it.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Not Breathe the Same Air_.

It was a beautiful morning in Smash Mansion. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and for one smasher, that was exactly what happened. It had originally started as waking up with a leaf stuffed into the back of Olimar's helmet...

"Will you let go of my leg, please? The cafeteria line is going to be long, and I actually want to eat something this time..." Said Alph.

"...No. I don't want to be alone. I'm... gonna follow you forever...captain!"

"You've been like that since this morning. What, did you catch a disease or something? How did this even happen?"

"Do I seriously have to drag you all the way to Dr. Mario's? Maybe he knows how to deal with this...thing."

Later...

"Well, I suggest that we cut that stem off. I don't know much about pikmin, but either that or we just wait until Olimar gets back to normal or he'll stay that way forever. I suppose you don't plan on waiting for that?" Said Dr. Mario. He and Alph had been thinking about what to do for the last ten minutes.

"No. Also, how do we even remove it if we can't take off his helmet?"

"I guess that means you'll have to wait."

Then, he thought of something.

 _"If Olimar is a pikmin now, does that mean he's able to breathe oxygen? I shouldn't risk it, but I also don't want to be stuck with him for the next few days...and what about our matches? Is he going to start living like the other pikmin? How do I deal with that?"_

 **Author's Note: Yes, I have played Pikmin 1. This is different, though.**


	5. Element-proof Everything

**Author's Note: I just imagine the smashers are either curious about everything Master Hand does, or are just purposely "testing" out things.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Element-proof Everything._

"Since the fifth Smash tournament will be starting in a few months, now should be a good time to upgrade the mansion. What should we do, though?" Said Master Hand to Robin. They were thinking about what to do for the "Ultimate" tournament.

"What if we finally element-proof the mansion? I'm honestly surprised at how we didn't do that yet."

"Great idea! It will certainly stop things from getting destroyed all the time."

And so, Master Hand cast a spell to do just that. Then an announcement was made, and most of the smashers then decided to really test it out.

"Oh cool, the curtains don't catch fire anymore!"

"Now I can take underwater pictures!"

"You mean I can zap the power generator and not cause a black-out?"

It seems everyone was satisfied, until Robin realized...

"...I think it also means we have to actually use things instead of our abilities..."

"Aww. There isn't any faster way to do stuff now?"

"No, and if it makes you stop being so lazy, it's for the better."

"Can't you at least make some exceptions? Like us being able to heat water?"

"When I said everything, I meant it. Do it manually, for once. I mean, look at the others without powers! They're doing fine."

 **Author's Note: Man, the shortcuts those with powers had... That would be nice if I didn't have to use the microwave to heat stuff.**


	6. Have Nowhere to Stay

**Author's Note: I still haven't decided whether or not I want to post these chapters with a schedule. Weekly, maybe.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Have Nowhere to Stay._

One day, some smashers decided to host a meeting in the backyard gardens. Along with them, were their "buddies" that always followed them around as helpers. The smashers thought their friends deserved their own living space.

"My waddle dees should have their own place! Normally I wouldn't care about what those guys think, but my room sure is cramped!" Dedede said.

"At least you don't have a hundred pikmin in there. It's hard being a father-figure to them all." Replied Olimar.

"Same thing with the lumas..." Said Rosalina, although she is always seen with just one.

"I only have one pet Mr. Saturn coffee table, but I still think it's more of a horse than anything. Also, Rope Snake." Lucas said. He was riding on top of said table-horse.

Later that day...

"Attention, smashers! For those of you who think your pets and assistants deserve their own living spaces, just know that I have built a place for them. It is right next to the backyard gardens. Thank you."

How did this happen?

"Please?" They whined in unison.

"Fine. Defeat me in a smash match, and you will get what you want. I will not go easy on you, though."

"Challenge accepted!"


	7. Own an Airship

**Author's Note: It started off as me wanting to draw the Halberd, and the next thing I know, this chapter exists.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Own an Airship._

"I wish my old crew were here. Instead, I get stuck with these three?!" Yelled Meta Knight. Captain Falcon, Fox, and Falco were too busy exploring the insides of the Halberd.

"I'm here, too." Said Samus.

"Well you aren't acting like the rest of them, so three."

For a while, they continued to sit in silence. That is, until Captain Falcon decided to push a button next to a stack of papers.

"Press this button. Well, if it tells me to, I guess I should!"

"Which on- WAIT NO! CAN'T YOU READ?! THAT'S THE SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON!" The two "normal" smashers replied.

There were papers covering up a part of the label.

"Oh, so it says "Don't press this button. Oops."

"Well, I hope you all have a way to escape, the Halberd is going down! Again... Bye!"

"Good job there, Falcon! Just imagine the size of the crash!" Said Fox.

The Halberd exploded, and fell into the ocean. Luckily they all managed to escape, but none of them knew how much time, effort and money it would take to rebuild the ship.


	8. Keep Question-Mark Boxes

**Author's Note: It's my birthday next week, but you didn't really need to know that.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Keep Question-Mark Boxes._

There is a place in the storage room where all the question-mark boxes are being kept. Unlike in the Mario universe however, these ones functioned differently. All someone had to do was think of an object they wanted, then hit the box. Said thing would just suddenly... exist.

"Pika pika chu!" (Yes, I want a rare candy!)

 _No, I shouldn't. I don't even know if that will help me get as strong as I was in the first tournament, or even just a bit...I'll just take one with me, nobody will notice._

Pikachu then took a box, and started to carry it up to his room. All he had to do was make a quick choice, and quickly return the box.

"Pikachu, what are you doing with that box?" Said Red. It seems someone did notice that one went missing.

"Pika pi!" (Uh, nothing?)

"If you really wanted some rare candies, I could have just given you one. It doesn't affect your strength here anyway."

"...Chu! Pikachu pika?" (How would you know?)

"I may or may not have tasted one. Nothing happened, so I guess it's fine."

 _I feel like Master Hand and Crazy Hand should make rare candies an item in matches. Maybe I should go suggest it sometime._

 _Why would Red even consider eating them though?_


	9. Choose the Right Copy

_Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Choose the Right Copy._

There is a meeting with the original twelve scheduled today. They were supposed to be talking about who should be given the title of an "Echo Fighter". They also were usually the ones making important decisions in the mansion.

 _Copy abilities. Which hat do I wear to the meeting? I know it's probably important this time, so..._

 _Bomb? Cute, but everyone else will freak out about it... Cutter? I don't think I need to shred any more papers... Wing? Feathers, everywhere..._

 _What if I just bring some cake instead? No, It's mine and only mine._

 _Too pointy, too many swordfighters, old final smash, now I look like a maid, too fiery, not good enough..._

 _Yeah, maybe just the hammer I already have in battles? That will do._

 _...No, wait. There has to be something better than that._

Kirby did eventually decide on Parasol, and quickly ran to where the meeting was supposed to take place. He was about thirty minutes late, but at least it wasn't over.

"Well, look who finally showed up. We were going to wait for you but decided to start anyway."

"Late again, are we?"

"Just, try to get here on time, unlike the last 5 times we've had meetings. What have you been doing?"

 **Author's Note: I don't think Kirby is the type to take anything seriously (except for food), but meetings like these could be important for the future of Smash, even if it is just giving some smashers a title.**


	10. Do the Necessary

**Author's Note: The first month of school is almost over. I don't know what to expect, but I hope it doesn't make major changes to the supposed uploading schedule.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Do the Necessary._

"...and that's how I get all these chores done."

"Villager, have you ever considered, I don't know, working less? I mean I know you don't have any matches scheduled any time soon, but really." Said Marth, as he was watching the other sweep the floor. The prince had been following Villager around the whole day, but it seems all he really did was do chores and requests for people.

"What's wrong with that? I have nothing better to do, it was always like this back in my town."

"Don't you ever get bored of doing the same things every day?"

"No. Besides, I have to pay off this debt somehow."

"...But didn't you pay it off already? If so, at this point you're basically working for nothing."

"Huh. I guess I just got so used to it, thinking about things that aren't problems anymore."

Later...

Marth continued following Villager around, trying to convince him to do something different for once. Needless to say, the prince's attempts weren't too successful.

"Oh, it's hopeless..."

"Why do you care so much about it anyway? You're not the one doing all the work here... You know what, fine, I'll do something else for now." Then, Villager went off to go drink a smoothie from the kitchen. After, he immediately resumed his work as if nothing happened.

"You know that isn't what I meant..."

"I just did what you wanted me to."


	11. Film a Trailer

**Author's Note: Sorry this chapter took a really long time! School and other projects I had to work on took up all my time, and ideas. That Isabelle announcement was cool, I guess.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Film a Trailer._

It's been a couple of months since Luigi's death, at least in the trailer for Simon Belmont. He's still alive of course, stocks are pretty much unlimited outside of battle, so technically that makes "special" trophies like the smashers immortal. Every other trophy is just a statue unless Master Hand decides to give it a life.

"...I'm dead. So is Mario, Mega Man, and Dedede. But why do they all seem perfectly fine after that?" Luigi said to himself.

Just then, Lucario passed by. "You aren't dead. That was only in the filming of the trailer. Do you realize that?"

"Uh... I'm alive? No wonder my entire body has been in pain ever since then... All this time I've thought that, since I'm dead, I don't need to eat, sleep or do anything anymore."

"Just how many stocks have you lost at this point?"

"Three...?"

"... Hm."

"Just... trying to... uh, take advan...tage...?"

Lucario continued walking down the hallway without saying anything else.

So is that why... everyone else seems okay? Alright, Luigi, you've done it again... You managed to lose three stocks all because you thought you were dead. Why?

Maybe it was just me always being player two? Nobody would miss me whether I was still here or not anyway...

All of a sudden, Luigi heard a voice, but didn't see anyone nearby.

"You might be player two, but you are just as lovable as most of the others here. Most."


	12. Turn off Assists

**Author's Note: I tried something different, like featuring the assist trophies for once. I probably won't do a lot of chapters with them, but maybe just for now.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Turn off Assists._

One of the most memorable things for the majority of the assist trophies and Pokemon, was the extremely long period of time where assist items were turned off. Nobody knew exactly why, none of the smashers had told any of them, and neither did the hands.

It however, didn't take long before the assists started doing other things, and in turn being totally unprepared for the rare times when they were summoned. Like sleeping too much.

"GET UP!!!"

"Wha... Five more minutes..."

"YOU. GET UP RIGHT NOW OR I SET YOU ON FIRE!"

"Okay, okay! S-Sorry! I've just been so busy, I- um..."

"...What can I do for you, Bowser? This doesn't appear to be a match..."

"You see that rocket launcher of yours? Mario's outside. Go figure."

"...Fire at him? Or..."

"WHAT ELSE WAS I TALKING ABOUT? LISTEN HERE, YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT I SAY, AND I SAY TO FIRE AT...!"

But Jeff was nowhere to be found. Poor kid took his rockets and began to book it all the way back to the assist wing of the mansion.

"H-Help! Someone help me!"

So began the epic chase scene between Bowser and Jeff.


	13. Host an Event

**Author's Note: I've had a severe case of writer's block. So, here's a long chapter.**

 _Sometimes, it Sucks to:_

 _Host an Event._

It's almost two months before the beginning of the "Ultimate" tournament. Simply because the smashers wanted to celebrate early, they got Mario to host a big party just for them. However, some things that went on weren't exactly… planned.

Outside, something special, that no smasher has ever done or hosted before, was taking place. It was somewhat similar to the "New Years' Ball Drop", but perhaps you could say it was the smashers' version of it. Sadly, they found nothing safe to use, so they went with the best option.

"BoIng!! pUt Mr. SaTuRn DoWn!! ScAry!! DiNg!!"

"Hello there everyone! Just a few more feet upwards and we'll be ready to drop it! First one to catch the Mr. Saturn gets all the smash coins!"

A hundred feet from the ground, was a plastic box being lifted up by winged pikmin and lumas. Inside, was Roy and a Mr. Saturn. On the ground, a small crowd of smashers were gathering.

"Ready? 3, 2, 1… GO!" Says Roy, as he proceeds to drop it.

Let's hope someone catches the saturn.

Meanwhile, at the table…

An extremely large amount of food, that was probably going to disappear who knows when. Smashers were mostly just trying to get at the food before anyone else can so they can claim it for themselves, instead of actually enjoying the stuff.

Alph was probably the only one in the near vicinity not participating. Just drinking some lemonade through the whistle in his helmet, while working on his latest electrical circuit. All while watching the action unfold.

"Can I have that?" Says Captain Falcon.

"Uh? I'm already drinking it though…"

"Yeah, you know what, nevermind."

He leaves, but after a moment returns.

Falcon suddenly sticks a straw into Alph's drink. Whether one would consider it sharing is up to them, but now it just looks plain awkward to anyone passing by. No words were said, just silent questioning of sanity.

At Master Hand's office…

The ruler of the universe was asleep. Of course they didn't need to, but it still felt nice. Crazy hand was busy partying with the smashers, not really caring about any of the consequences if Master Hand woke up. Why would any of that matter, and what are the odds of Master Hand waking up anyway? How they didn't get up from the noise was already remarkable.

Heck, the real reason to celebrate was two months away! So then, why…

All that Crazy Hand was doing at the party was simply trying to disrupt random conversations, and just overall trying to make the most out of it, "Their Way".

 **Author's Note: Some of this is based on real-life events.**


End file.
